Yes. It is I. Your favorite pirate penguin/bear. I have been sitting here in solace under the sacred cherry tree in silent contemplation to conceive how to convert more of you to the Way of the Smut. As proven by our smut-filled release last Valentine’s week, the Way of the Smut is addictive. We fully expect multiple newborn babies to be born less than nine months hence and we take full credit for the miracle we have accomplished.
Thus, I was called to summon more Smut disciples. Do not be fooled, my young fangirls. The path to the true Way of the Smut is a harsh one. It is filled with snotty ex-girlfriends who always think they’re better, smelly thugs who always seem to find you when you’re alone, endless days of sexual frustration, grumpy bishies, and running around in a constant state of confusion, among other things.
But the rewards for mastering The Way are boundless. Endless pages of gorgeous bishies who are devoted to you, significant lack of clothing (if any), romantic scenes that thrill you to your toes, numerous smut scenes… In fact, smut scenes anywhere and whenever it is physically possible.
I can see your interest has been piqued. Do not be afraid, young fangirls. We, the Masters of the Smut Way, will guide you every step in fulfilling and discovering your inner Smut. So, take heart and have courage. Join us in the Way of the Smut.
